Shoulds vs. Coulds

Ever feel like you have a lot of things you “should” do? Like WAY too many things? 

Most people have a list longer than hours in the day. 

Funny thing, though - sometimes you can become so used to thinking about what you “should” do, you forget what you really want or need to do.

So needless “shoulds” end up stealing your time, wasting your energy, and keeping you from feeling healthy and fulfilled.

That makes them a stressor.  

But therein lies an opportunity.

If you take a more critical look at your “shoulds,” you might find some aren’t all that necessary. 

They’re more like “coulds” than “shoulds.” 

For example:

▶ “I should let my kids help make breakfast, even though it takes longer.”
▶ “I should put on makeup before I go to the post office.”
▶ “I should listen to the board of education meeting.”
▶ “I should fix that leaky pipe by myself.”

Sure, you could do those things.
 
But should you?

Are they really the most valuable use of your precious time?

Similarly, there might be some erroneous “should nots” in there, like: 

“I shouldn’t let my kid watch TV,” or “I shouldn’t pay extra for pre-cut veggies,” or “I shouldn’t go home if my coworkers are still at their desks.”
 

What To Do Instead

Experiment with the following two strategies. You might just find they make your life a little easier—and a little less stressful.

Strategy #1. Notice and name.
Next time you hear that little voice in your head saying, “you should do this…”—pause. Notice it. Name it. That’s your “should” voice. 

Decide if you want to keep that “should,” or let it go. You’re simply taking the time to consider it for a moment, instead of just automatically doing it.

Strategy #2. Duke it out.
Realistically, you’ll always have more valuable activities to choose from than time in the day. 

So try this “Tournament of Priorities” worksheet from the smart folks at Precision Nutrition. It guides you through assessments of what’s most important to you at a given time.

Remember: You’re in charge of what you prioritize, and what trade-offs you’re willing to make. 

Ultimately…

You get to decide what’s most important to you.

That doesn’t always mean doing things you love, but because this process forces you to prioritize, it can help you feel more in control. 

Remember - you’ve got to give this a try for this to work. Over and over again, it’s been found that people who achieve the biggest breakthroughs are the most open to trying new approaches, even if they aren’t entirely sold on them at first. What do I always tell you? “Trust me!”

P.S. If you’re a woman who’s decided you “should” get more consistent with your fitness and nutrition this year, there’s still time to sign up for my Moving Parts Group Coaching For Women program. 3 months of done-for-you fitness, nutrition, habit coaching, support, and accountability. One of our members said, “Other than move in with me and follow me around 24/7 I don't think there is anything [else you could do for me]!